Have you ever noticed that the morning after you've worked hard you are exhausted? I do quite frequently but working hard is something of a novelty for us young adults. Not many of us do it, and it is unfortunate because with out working hard we'll never know what it's like to be an overachiever, and we will never gain any significant amount of praise. People don't work hard because they are afraid of that exhaustion. The exhaustion, however, is a reminder of what you've accomplished. Your body is run ragged because You've done something with it. I remember one of the first times I was at work and it got busy. I had to juggle twenty family members paying for their kid's tennis lessons all at once. I had to make sure everyone paid the right amount, every family with siblings got a discount, and that they all got at least two schedules for our programs. It went on for a good three hours and afterwards I was half dead. At that time I had no idea what value there would be in that experience but years later it's become the anecdote I tell on job interviews to ensure that the people hiring know that I can handle stressful situations. Which I think I've also proven after surviving the last three years or so at Ursinus.
I've heard this school called the Ivy League liberal arts school. I've heard UC called hell. I've heard a thousand names for this pretty campus, but for the last three almost four years now I've called it home. I wanted to go study abroad but one thing led to another and I couldn't so I've spent every semester here and I've learned a lot. Looking back at the past years I would definitely trade one of them for a semester in Italy or a semester in London as I was planing on, but I really shouldn't think that way. The heart breaks and pain that I faced from my old roommates and ex boyfriend are probably some of the most valuable lessons I've learned.
People say your meant to find yourself in high school and have fun in college, or is it the other way around? Either way, I feel like a late bloomer. I liked high school for the most part, I didn't really have a social life in it until junior and senior year, but I had fun. If you'd ask me back then I wouldn't tell you that but there were a lot of great moments during those years. I remember two guys playing jump rope with pig intestines in my Lab Bio freshman year, and one of those guys climbing out the window waiting to see if the teacher would notice him. I remember watching movies at another friends house crouched on the floor surrounded by my friends, all making jokes and having an epic time. I have a hundred memories like those but back then I didn't see them for what they were, teenagers never do.
Now I'm in college and I'm in that in between stage. Freshman year I made two friends, and in sophomore year that bubble grew a little bit, it was a bad bubble. Junior year I was in the same bubble and I was dating a guy with in that bubble. I'm sure anyone can see the bubble had to pop, but I wish it had popped sooner. It's senior year and I'm finally doing my work. I'm committed to school and I have a passion for things that I haven't had in years. I don't think I wrote much of anything after I met and started dating my ex. I was too wrapped up in him, and I'm not surprised that the asshole dumped me the day after our one year anniversary. If I'd been on campus I'm pretty sure he would have done it on our anniversary. Sounds like I haven't but I have moved on. I can see him now and not feel attracted, I of course miss having a companion for lack of a better term, but him I don't miss.
I'm finally living on this campus, I am in clubs, I'm on the student newspaper. I've got a life now and I am scared it will disappear after graduation. Will this new me, the version of myself that I love, disappear after graduation? I can't let it disappear and I also can't think about that now. I am going to look back on this year like I look back on those moments in high school one day, and be glad, because I have really lived.
"One should not arrive at the grave peacefully and pure, but rather slide in sideways laughing and say "What a Ride" ---I don't know who said this or If I quoted it right but I thought it would be fitting.
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